How to Become More Self-Confident

by Dick Stoner 09/22/2019

Many people define self-confidence as the feeling of trust in your own abilities and judgment. While that may be true, it doesn’t really describe the progressive continuum in developing confidence in yourself. That means, you may not be confident in one area, but gradually are becoming more confident as you go through the process of trying, failing, tweaking, trying again, succeeding a little bit, etc. Confidence in yourself is not a yes/no, on/off deal.

It’s a feeling

Some days you feel more confident, others you don’t even if you’ve felt confident in that area in the past. Many things can contribute to how you’re feeling about succeeding in one area. If you’re ill or under the weather, your confidence may ebb. If your skin broke out or your hair isn’t cooperating, that might dent your confidence. But, sometimes it’s just that you haven’t done something recently that you’ve done well at in the past. For most people, the challenge isn’t in trying something for the first time. It’s working it a second time and failing after they’ve already succeeded to some degree. They don’t want to not live up to themselves.

Talking down to yourself promotes this feeling. The only way around this is to step out and do it. Of course, if you fall flat on your face, you may not want to do it again, but really, failing gives you an opportunity to make adjustments and improvements.

Who’s in charge?

The challenge is that your feelings aren’t always controlled by you. Sometimes they’re controlled by your gut microbes. “What?” you say. Bugs? Well, yes, the bacterium that lives in your gut. The growing body of evidence says that the feel-good hormones in your body like serotonin and dopamine. That means if your gut flora is not healthy, you may feel less confident.If confidence eludes you even though you know you can do it, perhaps you should work on a gut-friendly diet.

Stop over-training

When you over-train a muscle, it ends up sprained or strained and needs time to heal. When you over-train your psyche, you fill your mind with so much information that you overwhelm yourself. Don’t think you have to do it all or try it all at once. Instead, try things the way a baby does. A little at a time, a step up, a fallback—do that until you know you can take that second step. If you’re always a “no” person, try to say “yes” every third time. If you’re a “yes” person and therefore get taken advantage of, practice saying “no” until you can say it firmly.

If one of the things you’re not confident about is buying a home, don’t try to do it on your own. Utilize the expertise and experience of your professional real estate agent.

About the Author
Author

Dick Stoner

Reist Corporation was incorporated in 1994 to renovate and restore commercial, industrial and residential buildings. Working from a 200+ year old farm in Washington County, MD , we have restored barns, warehouses, and even WWII Army buildings in Central MD. We maintain expertise in zoning and land use issues, and we stay abreast of market conditions and changing market statistics. We welcome the opportunity to work with buyers and tenants who wish to take advantage of current market conditions to lock in long term deals at favorable rates. Those able to sign 5 - 10 year leases in commercial transactions right now, are able to obtain the best rates in over 10 years, and those able to purchase are able to get pre-2005 prices on many types of buildings and land. On residential transactions, we continue to help buyers of bank-owned and short sale properties. We welcome the opportunity to work with you on your challenges, and we pay generous referral fees to agents from other areas who wish to utilize our services on Maryland property transactions

Certifications

Since 2002, I have worked on some of the largest real estate database systems in America. I have introduced online marketplace products to areas that were using residential MLS products for commercial real estate information, and I have worked on the expansion of some of America's largest real estate data systems in some of the largest MSA's in the country. Research is key to many commercial real estate valuation projects, and our firms' knowledge about how these systems work can help you reach the best information about other transactions in your area. We are active in Land Preservation programs and environmental offsets which can sometimes bring additional revenue that is crucial to making a transaction work. Nutrient offset credits in the Chesapeake Bay Watershed have become a new component in the valuation of active farmland and for many rural properties which involve environmental features like streams, woodlands, pastureland, etc. We've partnered with the experts at Blueline Conservation Incentives, LLC in Northern Virginia on nutrient offset and land preservation programs and together we are part of a team with expertise in all of the Middle Atlantic States as they strive to meet WIP - Watershed Improvement Plans in order to meet the 2017 and 2025 water quality goals that were set by the 2010 Chesapeake Bay Plan. 

Awards

2009 -MD Historical Trust -Award for Project Excellence in the Restoration of Frieda's Cottage at Chestnut Lodge in Rockville, MD